Harness Your Inner Bad Girl (or Boy) to Create Kickass Positive Change
Chel Hamilton
4 min read
This story contains several strong swear words. If you are under the age of 18, or offend easily, please click away.
I haven’t had a cigarette since 2002.
That was 4 years before I learned about hypnosis, so no this isn’t a “hypnosis works!” story – even though it does.
This is the story of how my Inner Bad Girl helped me kick my own ass into staying smoke-free.
And how you can get yours to do the same for you on any of the following kinds of issues:
Not smoking
Eating less
Saying no to sweets
Saying no to carbs
Working out
Not being so darn lazy
Judging others
Being nicer
Having more patience
(Intellectually I find this process even more interesting given that with most of the stuff listed above it’s usually our inner bad girl (or boy) who gets us doing it in the first place!)
Before you read any further:
It’s important that you understand this is NOT a technique to use on things like anxiety, depression, self worth, or shame.
This is only to be used on very “black and white” action/inaction situations – like smoking/not smoking, eating loads of ice cream/not eating loads ice cream, being a bitch/not being a bitch.
That said, if you are stuck in a state of the blues you CAN use this to process to help you get out of bed and wash one damn cup – or maybe even take a frickin’ shower.
(Be there. Done that. And if you are there now, trust me, you WILL feel better if you get up right now and take that shower. You can come back and read this later)
And if you have a habit of shaming yourself with a lot of negative self talk you CAN use this process to call “bullshit” on your own inner crap-fest.
(But only to call B.S. on it, NOT to add to it!)
To make this process work, first you have to get in touch with the Ultimate Inner Bad Girl (or Boy)…
…Your own Inner Teenager.
Now it’s true almost all of us have at least two Inner Teens… one that feels awkward, full of self doubt, and likely rife with social anxiety issues; and another that is a stubborn, “you can’t tell me what to do,” arms crossed with a glare, bundle of kickass.
For this to work – you need the second one.
So take a moment and ask yourself…
What would your Inner (kickass!) Teenager look like?
Seriously, picture them.
This problem needs all the highly focused subconsious mind energy we can muster in order to overcome your issue-of-choice quickly, powerfully, and sustainably. If you don’t make a mental picture your subconsious mind will be unable to apply all of its power and focus to create the positive change you desire.
If this worked for my smoking. It can work for you.
My Inner Kickass Teen is a bit of a goth girl – dark eyeliner, dark hair, black fishnets, and scruffy old black leather go-go boots. (She needs those boots to kick butts!) Most of the time when she looks at me she has one hand on her hip, and an eyebrow raised quizzically.
Now imagine yours…
1) What would your Inner Kickass Teen be wearing, specifically?
2) What would their hair (and makeup) be like?
3) And if they were in front of you how would they be standing, and looking at you?
Don’t skimp on this step. Pause, and picture them now.
And…
What would they sound like? What would their tone be, and what words would they say to you when you want do something like to eat half a pie even when you are trying to lose 20lbs?
Now, some of you are going to be cheeky and say she/he would say “EAT IT!”
But let me remind you that while Inner (and outer) Teenagers ARE prone to cases of the “fuck-its” – at their core what do teens really want?
They want to be popular.
And hot.
So imagine at that moment when you are REALLY wanting to binge on pie your Inner Kickass Teen saunters up to you and says…
“Hey dimplecheeks. Really? Do you seriously think you need to do that right now? I don’t think so. Let’s go for a walk, or get some tea and be lazy at the cafe for a while instead.”
Then picture yourself out having fun later that week – dancing, going to a game, flirting, hiking with friends, etc – and feeling really good about yourself having overcome that momentary desire for half a pie earlier in the week.
This is exactly the same process I used over 20 years ago and I am still 100% smoke-free after having kicked a 16 year, pack a day (sometimes more) habit.
Now I admit my Inner Kickass Teen dialogue was a bit more colorful than the “dimplecheeks” example above. But I needed her to be, because I’m naturally an overly stubborn tough-girl.
My Inner Kickass Teen sounded much more like…
“Really? You’re going to let that guy not calling you make you smoke? Seriously? Only a weak-ass-idiot would smoke over something like that. What are you, a pussy? You are aren’t you. You. Are. A. Pussy.”
To which my ego would puff up and respond… “No I’m not. I’m not a frickin’ pussy. Shut up, I can handle this. I don’t need a stinkin’ cigarette.”
And then I would picture myself running into that guy a week or two later and totally blowing him off because I was having too much fun with friends (or a better dude) to care about him and his lack of calling.
Yup. That’s how it went for me. So if you need a little more spice in your inner-speak-sauce to create YOUR kickass positive change, go for it!
(And when it comes to guys feel free to borrow my mantra “If not this one, than a better one is headed our way, babe.”)
I’m totally curious to know what YOUR Inner Kickass Teen looks likes, and sounds like too!
Write me and let me know: chel@chelhamilton.com